Here come the waterworks . . .

"Emotions are in full swing now. It seems that all the “symptoms” of pregnancy are hitting me earlier this time (see future post about nesting as additional proof).

Example 1: Ross, Jackson and I went over to his parents house to have dinner and talk a little with his sister Emily and Ryen about the wedding they’re planning (yea). This was during the Olympics and we were all watching which ever event was on. During a break in the action, one of the announcers starting telling the story of the little boy who accompanied Yao Ming during the Opening Ceremonies:

A little boy, about 5 or 6 if I remember correctly, was one of the few surviving children from the school that collapsed in the recent Sichuan earthquake. He bravely pulled a fellow student out of the rubble, and then WENT BACK IN to try and pull out another student! When asked why he did so, he replied that he was the hall monitor.

Tears began streaming out of my eyes, and it was all I could do not to lose my composure in front of the entire family. Ross heard my sniffles and turned to ask if I was alright. When he saw me, he clearly recognized the sign that I was fighting against a flood of tears, and Ross asked again how I was in an effort to secretly tell me he understood and that it was okay to let go if I wanted.

That time I recovered, but knew next time I might not be so lucky.

Example 2: Ross, Jackson and I were sitting in the living room playing. I was on the couch and was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to sob. I said Ross, I don’t know why, but I think I need to cry. There was absolutely nothing going on that was prompting me strong emotions that could open the flood gates, NOTHING.

Ross again assured me it was okay, but I kept strong since Jackson doesn’t do well when I cry. (He’s only seen it once after a fender-bender but went into hysterics himself when I couldn’t answer his question if I was okay through my tears.)

Example 3: Becky and I had been playing phone tag one Sunday and finally while Ross was putting Jackson to bed, she and I connected.

She had some news to share, and I waiting anxiously for it. Dave proposed that morning! Yippie! Yippie! Yippie!

I was so thrilled that I got a little choked up about it. So many questions swirled through my head: When? Where? What happened? How did he do it? Was there a ring? Did you cry? etc.

And then while she answered all my queries, I slowly felt myself fall apart. I finally lost it when Becky told me about the ring. It was Dave’s Grandmothers. She left it to Dave’s Mother. Dave’s Mother gave the ring to Dave before he even met Becky, just after a tough time in his life, and said “I know you’ll find a woman perfect for this ring.”

SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB

“Clare, are you crying?” Becky asked.

“Yes!” I managed to utter.

Since I couldn’t form words anymore and since Becky and Dave had a flight to make we hung up and I continued to cry. Ross was by this time back down stairs and just let me melt into him and release my tears.

I guess these examples all make more sense then the laughing to tears hysteria that happened when I was pregnant with Jackson (see Bucky Blog for that entry). Maybe I’m getting wiser to my emotional needs, or maybe I just can’t fight these feelings anymore . . ."
--Clare, mid-August